Saturday, September 22, 2012

How does it start at 15?

Memories have to roll back 10 years to get this at one place. Do things change drastically once you start preparing for the much coveted IITs? What gets the motivation going? What changes take place in your thinking? Think it would be different for everyone so will pen down here my experience. Please do not feel its generic because its not. So lets begin. I was one simple unimportant boy who kept mostly to himself and to close ones around him. Remember watching other people and friends doing well in Quizzes ( remember one friend getting to BQC), someone doing nice things in Astronomy, Olympiads, MBD talent search etc etc and standing in the crowd watching people winning in those sports meet, sitting in audience watching debates. Always wondered when would my turn come to receive one of those awards, how does it feel to hear your name announced etc etc. It was very kiddish and very childish but nonetheless it was an obsession at that time. Had to find something where you were the best. Watching the show all the time was saddening. And although I was consistently among top 5 in my class in those school exams neither there was any sense of achievement nor did I respect myself for cramming stuff up and getting good results. Something more satisfactory was needed to pacify the feeling of underachievement and commonness. IIT was a tough nut to crack, maybe the toughest we all considered. It could be that thing. As was common after X boards I and my friends joined one of those coaching classes for JEE. It was too fast for me and for one month I really could not catch up and understand anything. Changed the coaching but the confidence was down. Then came the X board results. Was shocked and devastated to see that all my friends had done better than me. I felt cheated and felt a lot of hardwork had been wasted. That acted as the trigger. Deep down I knew the board results are erratic and true quality and hardwork would be fairly rewarded in the competitive exams. I was very confident about my IQ and maths but never confident about my motivation and hardwork. Deep inside I never felt anything great about scoring marks in exams. But this was a different challenge. It got you respect in society. It tested your brain and perseverance. So still remember my father telling me if you have to get to IIT it would take 2 years of dedicated effort. "Tapasya" was the word. Now all this sounds big but somebody who is going through that age and who wants to know about my experience it was exactly like that. Like one simple foolish boy feeling too bad about those maybe "not so important things". You mature and grow and most people including myself would laugh now but this was how it was. Those 2-3 months really left me hungry and motivated. I felt sad and had to vindicate myself. The moment was 2 years ahead of me but I wasn't prepared to let anything come between me and my success. I was very sincere, focused and determined for the next 2 years. Yes tough times, ups and downs were there but the fire to get there was much more. I am sure for all those looking at JEE would definitely find their set of stories and reasons to get them fired up. One thing that hasn't changed in my mind over these 10 years is the belief that you never go the distance until you are prepared and desperate to slog it out. So find your reasons, maybe better ones than I had but do give your best. Nobody but you will feel nice about it later.
(Thanks to Shreyasi for suggesting the topic, hope it helps)   

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you. Just what i needed.

HRISHIKESH barokar (nagpur) said...

BTW I am hrishikesh from nagpur, mahrashtra. What was your rank?

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